


what it means to wonder

by synthiesia



Category: Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland (Movies - Burton), Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Related Fandoms
Genre: (I did my best to google time period appropriate stuff), Eventual Romance, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Historical References, Pirates, Strong Female Characters, World Travel, they don't go to wonderland they have adventures in this world
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26131330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/synthiesia/pseuds/synthiesia
Summary: AfterKingsleigh and Kingsleighruns the Ascot's business into the ground, Alice gets pressured into allowing Hamish to come with her on one singular trip. She knows it's a mistake even as she agrees. She didn't realize he wouldn't just cause problems for her, though, but for her Quartermaster, James Harcourt, too.Historically accurate adventures ensure as they travel the world on the Wonder.
Relationships: Alice Kingsleigh/James Harcourt
Comments: 18
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> trust me i'm well aware that this is a barely relevant fandom but i'm posting this fic anyway because i have feelings about it
> 
> so this is gonna be a fairly long fic, filled with things that are mostly historically accurate, for the different places they travel.

It wasn’t long after Alice Kingsleigh and her mother walked out on Hamish Ascot and his family that they hired James Harcourt. He was fired from the Ascot’s service just a few days after they had walked out, as they believed he was far too _amused_ by Alice and her mother’s antics. 

_Kingsleigh and Kingsleigh_ was not yet a running business, but it didn’t matter. Harcourt needed a job, and they could provide one.

He proved himself to be vastly useful, as well. He may not have known anything about running a ship, but he was a quick study. 

He was a quick study abroad, too. She took him with her on her next expedition to China, along with her mother. They were both fascinated by the difference in the culture. But for her mother, one trip was enough. She’d seen the world, and been excited by it, but now she was ready to be done, to run the business and take the world by storm on her own ground.

But not him. She’d offered him the world and he was ready for it.

He became her right hand. Her crew was great, and she loved them, but sometimes they lacked a certain _finesse_ that was needed when dealing with foreign emissaries where there was a language barrier. But his time with the Ascot’s had made Harcourt ever the perfect diplomat. Quiet and unassuming; polite and courteous. 

It bothered her, sometimes, knowing how other aristocratic families were. How they looked their noses down on everyone who wasn't just like them.

She’d had to overcome her crew expecting that of her crew when she’d first hired them. She was, after all, from _that_ sort of family.

Now she had to overcome Harcourt expecting it. 

But she was good at that. She knew her eccentricities made people unsure of what to expect of her, and made aristocratic families uncomfortable, but she also knew that they were often what eventually put those that aristocratic society told her to look down on more comfortable with her.

It wasn’t as if this same aristocratic society wasn’t just looking down at her for those same eccentricities.  
Living is such close quarters with someone, an understanding begins to form, whether you want it to or not.

Her crew all bunked together below deck, their hammocks allowing all 16 of them to reside together. She took the captain’s quarters, and made good use of the extra rooms, pinning up maps and laying out paperwork. The second cabin went to her first mate, Silas Ailey.

The third cabin went to Harcourt. He’d protested at first, but she’d insisted. He deserved it- he was basically her Quartermaster, after all, and her previous Quartermaster- a rather gruff fellow, who’d quit on her at the first sign of trouble- was who had previously occupied the space. 

It was a good fit. The ship ran well with her current crew- there was no fighting, and not because of fear, but instead because of a mutual respect.

And she and Harcourt developed a sort of bond. He was the sort of partner she’d been looking for- someone who didn’t think she was crazy, who’d follow her to the ends of the Earth because he trusted that she _did_ know what she was doing. 

And she trusted him. He was a good sort of person, genuine in the way that most people were not.  
He almost reminded her of Wonderland in that respect.

Overall, everything was going great.

But obviously, it couldn’t really stay that way.

Her mother was right. Within a couple of years, they had run the Ascot’s business into the ground. But then there was pressure from their funders to _include_ the Ascots, to try and find some sort of peace and combine their companies somehow, even if he would have infinitely less power.

Alice didn’t really want to. But she understood the merits behind it- it would make their business that much stronger.

Maybe it was that which made her agree to let Hamish come along on an expedition.

Or maybe it was just that she knew he would hate it and thought that maybe afterwards he would sign everything over just to be done with it.

And maybe she did want a little revenge for all the mocking she had faced: Hamish was in no way prepared for life at sea, and she knew it.

Probably it was a combination of the three that convinced her. 

Whatever it was, she knew that Hamish on a boat would be amusing.

And Hamish in India…well, she could only imagine. It was ungodly hot in India- she knew that from their brief time docked their- and even Harcourt had a hard time with it the last time they were there, not that he’d ever complained. Hamish would be positively miserable.

Not that she liked causing misery, but after everything he had put her- and her family- through, he deserved it. Besides, while she may be obligated to _include_ him, that didn’t mean she _wanted_ to- and it didn’t mean he deserved to be. He wouldn’t have done the same for her, if their places were reversed.  
And they did have to go to India. They had stopped there once before on the way to China, and she had personally promised the Prince of Agra that they would return on their next voyage. 

And return they would.

With Hamish in tow.

She knew when he first saw her again he was slightly shocked. Her time at sea had given her a slight tan, the sort frowned upon by the higher class, and her short hair had become rather wild, curling in the way that only the sea could make it. 

His wife had come to see him off, and she looked positively aghast at Alice’s appearance. 

Alice simply smiled. “Hamish, Mrs. Ascot. Good morning.”

Hamish looked over her boat, his nose scrunching slightly. “Good morning, Alice.” 

“That’d be Captain Kingsleigh to you, actually.” Silas corrected as he went up the ramp to the boat.  
“Morning, Mr. Ailey.” Alice smiled at him as he passed. He nodded to her, before making his way around the deck.

‘Mornin’, Captain.”

“Who was that?” Hamish’s voice carried a sort of haughty disdain Alice hadn’t heard since she’d went to sea. She definitely hadn’t missed it. 

“My first mate, Mr. Silas Ailey.” 

“His accent…” Hamish narrowed his eyes. Alice simply smiled at him.

“He’s Irish.” 

“You hired an Irishman as your first mate?” Hamish sneered. 

“Yes.” Alice regarded Hamish for a minute before frowning ever so slightly. “And you would do well to treat him with respect, as he _is_ the second in command on this ship.”

“I am a-”

“A guest.” Alice cut off shortly. “You are a guest, and that gives you some liberties, but it doesn’t mean you get to boss around my crew. You are a _guest_.” 

“Of course, Alice.” Hamish’s nose turned up, his face scrunched together into a sneer. He turned back to his wife to say goodbye. 

“Take care of him…Captain.” His wife tentatively smiled at Alice. 

Alice simply nodded, before heading back up into the Wonder. This was going to be a long journey. Hamish was standing on the deck, frowning, when Alice got up the ramp. 

“Where should I put my bags?”

“Under the deck, we put up an extra hammock for you.” Mr. Ailey had come back over, standing at Alice’s elbow. He smiled at her, and she nodded.

“A hammock?” Hamish seemed positively aghast. “That will absolutely not do. I must have one of the cabins.”

Alice and Mr. Ailey exchanged a look. “There are no spare cabins.” Alice sighed. “I have one, my first mate has one, and my quartermaster has one.”

“Who’s your quartermaster?” Hamish seemed disparaging, and Alice held back another sigh. Already he was getting on her nerves, and he’d barely been on her boat 2 minutes.

“Captain!” And here her quartermaster came. “Morning Mr. Ailey.” Harcourt nodded at the first mate, before turning back to Alice. “The cargo’s all loaded u-”

“James Harcourt?” Alice had apparently not been aware of how much disdain a single person’s voice could hold. And she had heard a lot of disdain in her life. She sighed.

Harcourt turned to face Hamish then, standing strong even as Alice could tell he was nervous. “Mr. Ascot.” He nodded at him, before turning back to Alice. “We’re ready whenever you are to set sail.” 

“Alright. Tell the crew to get into their positions. Mr. Ailey, I leave my ship in your capable hands.” Mr. Ailey nodded at her, before heading back to oversee their departure. 

“I can show you to where you’ll be staying, so you can put your bags away.” Alice turned back to Hamish, who’s face had morphed into a scowl. 

“I still think-” He started, and Alice sighed.

“Hamish…Mr. Ascot.” Both her face and voice were flat. “I invited you on this voyage as a professional courtesy. But this is my ship, and these are my crew members. There are no spare cabins. If you attempt to convince one of my crew members to give up their cabin, we are going to have a problem. I could just let your business fail, and then absorb your clientele and resources as my own. Instead, I’ve extended the olive branch, and the least you could do is try to pretend you’re gracious.” It felt good, standing up to Hamish.

Hamish looked properly cowed, as she knew he would. He was a bully, and all you had to do was fight back to get him to stop. 

“Now, shall we go down to the crew’s quarter?”

It was a battle, to say the least. Hamish was clearly disdainful of the living situation he was provided, not there was much he could do about it. Her crew was less than pleased to have to share their space with a snobby aristocrat, though they’d put up with him for Alice. 

He made everyone uncomfortable, just with his attitude and airs. And the way he dressed.

Though that couldn’t last. There was no way he had enough clothes to keep going, and Alice doubted he’d be willing to wash his clothes by dragging them through the water the way her crew did. 

She did that with her seafaring outfit, and washed all of her more diplomatic clothing by hand. But she doubted Hamish would be willing to do that either.

If he could do neither, he’d have to change into more seafaring clothing. She had extras, stored below, that he could borrow, but somehow she knew that would also be a fight. There’d just be no winning with him. 

Already she could feel a headache forming, the sort she only got from the aristocratic nonsense she thought she’d left behind on land. Whereas before she had thought Hamish might be a mild annoyance, she had a bad feeling now that he would prove to be a major disturbance aboard the Wonder. 

She climbed above deck and was glad to see they had set sail. She was always more at peace on the open water, where the predictable unpredictableness of it all reigned supreme. It was the closest she could get to Wonderland in this world. She went and stood at the rail, breathing the air in.

“How is our…guest settling in to his new living arrangement?” She could hear the hesitation in James’s voice as he asked, and she scowled at the water, before sighing. This was her ship, her crew, and her family, and Hamish had no right to come along and make anyone uncomfortable.

“He’s settling in as well as you can possible expect.” She said diplomatically. After a moment, James huffed a slight laugh, and she relaxed slightly.

“So not at all, then.”

“Not in the slightest.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2 is up ! eventually we're gonna had over to the east, and there will be actual fun historical stuff, but right now we just have rising tensions and the crew absolutely hating hamish. no surprise there.

Within a week on the water most of the crew was ready to throw Hamish overboard, and Alice wasn’t sure she’d stop them if they tried. 

She knew it was only their respect for her that stopped them, and while she appreciated it, she couldn’t be sure she wouldn’t appreciate it more if they just loaded him on an emergency dingy while he slept and left him to the sea.

They wouldn’t, but she could dream.

When he wasn’t seasick, he was either complaining about his new seafaring clothes, the meals served in the galley, or just the general atmosphere of the ship. 

But that wasn’t even the worst of it. No, by far the worst of it all was his complete and utter disrespect for the crew, namely her first mate and quartermaster. While the rest of the crew he could for the most part ignore, much the way he did he felt lesser than him in London, he was expressly required to show respect to those who held rank on the Wonder. Alice had known from the start he would struggle with her; he couldn’t even call her Captain Kingsleigh.

What she hadn’t known- for it hadn’t even occurred to her- was the complete disrespect he would have for Mr. Ailey, her first mate.

Mr. Ailey was an Irishman. Neither Alice nor her crew had any issue with that. Hamish, however, felt that meant he was dishonest, untrustworthy, and beneath him. And while Mr. Ailey had no problem calmly correcting Hamish, his complete and utter lack of respect for Mr. Ailey’s position set the rest of the crew on edge. They adored Ailey- and with good reason. He’d proven himself, time and time again, not just of being a capable first mate and seafarer, but of being willing to always go the extra mile for their crew- they were his family, and he felt a certain sense of duty them, and them to him.

And with every insult, every slight, the crew grew more and more restless. They would reach a boiling point soon, Alice knew.

She wasn’t sure she wouldn’t reach it first.

Mr. Ailey could defend himself. He didn’t take anything Hamish said to heart- he made sure to assure her of that when she quietly questioned him about it- and correcting Hamish at every turn had become second nature, just another part of making sure the ship ran smoothly.

Alice was incredibly grateful for Mr. Ailey for that.

But he wasn’t the only person Hamish went out of his way to be rude to. And with every day, Alice could feel herself getting angrier and angrier. 

Aristocrats excelled at making others feel beneath them. It was something she had learned, in all her years as an oddity. But years spent in Wonderland and on the Wonder had taught her that the ideas, thoughts, and beliefs of aristocrats never really mattered in the grand scheme of things, and she resolved never to let them make her feel small again. She’d known Hamish wouldn’t be able to do that to her.

She hadn’t realized he’d try and do it to Harcourt, instead.

She should’ve known. From the first moment on the ship, it clearly bothered him, the James was her Quartermaster. That someone he’d fired, deemed unworthy, was thriving on her ship and in a position that demanded respect from Hamish.

The difference between her and Harcourt was that he still, to some degree, sought the approval of others.

He was the best Quartermaster she could have asked for. But he didn’t know it, wouldn’t believe it unless you told him outright, and even then wouldn’t be sure. He still held that sort of tentative desire for approval that aristocrats looked for in an employee. 

But he’d never quite been good at keeping a straight face. It had, after all, been what got him fired. And here on the Wonder it didn’t matter. Which meant that he could absolutely feel free to express himself however he damn well chose.

And if that meant he laughed right along with the crew when Hamish found himself in various unfortunate scenarios, Alice was neither one to judge nor one to be surprised.

But. Well. Hamish had decided it was his absolute mission to be as positively insufferable and unpleasantly disrespectful as possible. And so Alice almost hoped her crew would just throw him overboard. At least then he would be out of her hair. He would no longer be her concern. She would no longer have to humor him, to listen to at least some of his complaints once per day.

If only she could be so lucky.

She wasn’t, and she knew it. 

Or rather, she was more lucky- she had the best and most loyal crew. They would follow her to the ends of the earth, and so they would weather him as long as she requested it of them.

It didn’t mean they had to do it without complaint. 

As one week turned to two, Hamish’s complaints changed from the general unpleasantness of the sea to a frenzied sort of paranoia that her crew was out to get him. At first, that’s all she believed it be- paranoia.

But as days went by, she almost had to laugh. His stories were just inconvenient enough, without being downright cruel, that she began to really believe maybe her crew had decided to take their vengeance into their own hands, in as minor a way as they saw fit.

Whether it was allowing his things to be the only ones completely soaked when water came in, or loosening his bunk enough so that it came undone once a week, or serving him overly seasoned, overly spiced food- food the rest of them had built a tolerance to over their travels- it was clearly that her crew was doing what they could.

She didn’t fault them. And Hamish couldn’t bring her proof, anyway. Sure, he could claim the crew let him fall asleep on the deck, let him get sunburned, but she could counter that with that he chose to fall asleep there, and that was not her crew’s fault.

They knew he would get sunburned. She knew they knew that. But it wasn’t their job to look out for him. She wouldn’t ask that of them. 

Not unless they went on land, and maybe not even then. That would be a duty she took on herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl i watched both voyage of the dawn treader and treasure planet recently so take that as you will.  
> pls leave comments/kudos !


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long ! had a lot of weird real life stuff going on during the end of sept/beginning of oct,,,,anyways enjoy ! the next few updates should be more frequent. 
> 
> i'm gonna be honest i didn't think this chap was even gonna get out today bc mid writing it i learned supernatural's destiel became canon and that sort of knocked me on my ass but here we are.

The first time Alice had to take Hamish back onto land was only about a month or so into their journey, and she hadn’t even wanted him to come. 

He had _insisted_. 

They were at Addar Al Beida, the Port of Casablanca. They usually stopped here, to restock supplies and stretch their legs before heading farther south. It was only a day, maybe two tops. She’d told Hamish to stay on the ship, but he’d thrown an absolute fit, saying he was tired of being stuck on the boat, that he needed a breath of fresh air and to walk around on land.

The air was the same on the boat and on the land, but it became pretty apparent that arguing with him was likely more trouble than it was worth, so she just told him to stick close to her. 

She wasn’t sure what she’d expected. But hearing “it’s too hot” and “why does everything smell so strongly” and “wait _are_ those people doing” every five minutes was starting to grate on her. 

Apparently her irritation was becoming obvious, because after one comment too many, James swept over and offered, “Why don’t I take Lord Ascott to find some more....seafaring clothes, to his taste, while you finish taking care of business?” 

Alice felt a little bad, pawning Hamish off on James. She knew James didn’t like him any more than she did. But she genuinely had business she needed to take care of, business that Hamish was interfering with purely with his attitude. 

So she set about doing that while James took Hamish to find new clothes. The first month on the ship had taught him that the clothing had had brought was not seafare appropriate- there was no good way to wash it except by hand, and he’d thrown an absolute fit over that. Eventually, she’d found clothing he could borrow that could just be washed in the sea, but he needed something of his own so he’d stop complaining. 

She should have known she should have kept Hamish with her.

They still weren’t back when she arrived on the ship later that evening. That was more than a little bit concerning- they should have been back long before her. She set back out to look for them while Silas started with ship preparations. 

She shouldn’t have been surprised that they’d been detained. She knew Hamish was more likely to cause issues than not. 

So, she spent her evening apologizing to the Port Master over Hamish’s behavior, in return for his release into her custody. It was a good thing that she had a good rapport with the people of Addar Al Beida, or they could have been going round and round all night. Instead, she explained that he was a guest aboard her ship, and that they were both _incredibly sorry_ for what occurred- when he opened his mouth to say something, she sent him such withering look that he immediately closed his mouth- and the Port Master agreed to let them off with a warning not to disturb the peace.

As soon as they exited, Hamish went to defend himself, his voice carrying it’s usually haughty drawl. “It’s not _my fault_ -”

“Don’t.” Alice didn’t stop walking. “It’s bad enough that you’re disrespectful to my crew, but if you continue to cause problems offboard I will have to leave you on the ship whenever we dock.”

“You cannot make me stay on-”

“I can and I will.” She stopped this time, turning to face him with her steeliest gaze- the one she faced down a Jabberwocky with, the one she faced down Time himself with. “This is my expedition, and I will not have you jeopardize it, my reputation, or my crew with your inability to behave yourself off the ship.” 

Hamish fell silent, and they continued walking back to the Wonder. Alice glanced over at James in the meantime. He’d been silent since she’d arrived at the office, and she could tell he was bothered by something- he wouldn’t even look at her.

Arriving back at the Wonder, she set off to discuss the events with Silas. By the time she was done, Hamish had disappeared- presumably below deck- as had James.

Hamish couldn’t possibly get into that much trouble on the ship- the crew would stop him from that. And something clearly had been bothering James.

She went and knocked on his cabin. She wouldn’t invade his space, not unless he volunteered it, and she was a little surprised when he called out “it’s open!”

Coming inside, she wasn’t surprised to see him at the table, maps and various other papers spread out around him, checking over all the provisions they had or the route they were taking or...anything, really. 

“Keeping busy?”

“Always.” He didn’t look up. “I wanted to make sure everything got taken care of- I didn’t get a chance to earlier…” He trailed off for a moment, before sighing. “I’m sorry about what happened with Hamish- I tried to stop him, but he wouldn’t listen.”

“It’s not your fault.” Alice peered at him curiously- did he really blame himself over this? “Hamish Ascott is,” she gestured abstractly, “like that, we both know that, I should have known he would’ve caused issues.” 

“I should have been able to reign him in.” James sighed. “He just does not believe in listening to me.” He leaned back in his seat, finally turning to her. “Still, though, I am sorry Alice.”

Alice smiled faintly. Getting him to call her Alice in private- as opposed to Captain Kinglsey- had been a battle, but he was as much her friend as a member of her crew at this point. “It’s alright, James. There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

He nodded, but Alice wasn’t super sure he believed her. She came over and sat at the other seat at the table. “So, why don’t you go over what we have and where we plan to restock next with me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so ! by my research, it took 6 months to get from london to the cape of good hope - halfway to india - in the late 1800s. the chapters are going to likely alternate between sea and land, one of each per month or so, up until we hit india. 
> 
> pls leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed !

**Author's Note:**

> pls leave kudos/comments if you enjoyed !


End file.
